Ups and downs....but land on the UPS

Hi Me,

I had a very interesting weekend, to say the least! I went camping at a gorgeous lake in the woods. Great swimming! I love to swim in a lake! I love to laugh and swim and dance and play. There was a sister of a good friend their, she is married to an abusive, loud, alcoholic.....He made such a fool of himself in front of all of us and his children. I hated to see how the attitudes of her brother and her children changed. She has dealt with it for 20 years now. Nobody deserves to be treated like he treats his family. They are very good people! I am trying to get in touch with her to tell her I will always be their for her. If she needs a place to run away to, emotional support, what ever it takes. I feel her pain so intensely. My heart broke for her and the kids this weekend.

The rest of the camping was great! A boat, the lake, the tent, the dog....he got to swim for the second time, he fetched a water bottle in the lake for hours, he slept the whole next day.

I felt heavy, like there is a lot of weight on my bones for the first time. Maybe it was the weightlessness of the lake compared to the weight on the ground. I feel heavy and not able to move.

Worked on Mon and Tue. Came home sick on Mon...nausea...migraine. The heat is getting to me. It is well over 100. Ouch....I don't like it past 80.

For the last week or so I feel soooo heavy. I can't explain it. I haven't been able to walk with the dog....is that making that much of a difference? YES IT IS!!! I went to http://exercisetv.tv/ and did some Pilate's videos....They are so hard. I am really fat and I can't do some of the bends and positions they get into. I did the laying down ones on my bed. I did the ones for my core...cause let me tell you my core stinks! I carry a lot of my weight their. I did several videos tho. I DID THEM!! I did a sitting at your desk one for your core also. It was great! I wondered as I was doing them...Who am I, that I can't do these moves? How did this happen? How long have I been this way? It was almost like I am waking up and seeing me for the first time. Very strange experience! I now feel better and have a better energy about me. I feel stronger. I like to feel strong! Empowered and powerful! Just from this little bit. They are short..3-10 min videos that I did. I finished dishes, shook rugs, cleaned and vacuumed..Awesome.

I am trying to get financial help to join the YMCA (don't yah just want to sing to that?) AHHHH that dance is Pilate's...think about it!

I am trying...NO-NO-NO- I will keep moving! I will eat healthy. I am strong. I am going to go finish the floors.

Kisses