Thursday is the Crazy Dr

Thursday 20th

I went to the Crazy Dr today. I whined for a full hour. I think I am going to loose my house. I have worked my butt off to buy a house. The story of how I got it was amazing. I just have to tell you this story. I was working in an industry that dealt with death certificates and legal matters. This couple came in to deal with the death of his mom. I worked with them for about an hour. All during this time I am having a fight in my mind. It is the loudest voice (not literally, but you know what I mean) I have ever heard. "Ask them what they are going to do with the house?" "NO" I say to me! I had been actively searching for a home for 4 years, I had keys to houses, I had trimmed rose bushes on other homes...they all fell thru. I could not take the let down again. No way. That little voice comes in again "Ask them!" "NO" "ASK THEM!!" "FINE" I get all done, put all the paper away. The couple is looking at me like 'can we go?' I reached over the table and touched her hand, she had been crying off and on. "I have a question to ask you" they looked very concerned and puzzled. "This has nothing to do with this business, it is all me personally" I say. "If I offend you I will apologize in advance, I don't want to." "OK" they say "go ahead, ask." I swallowed and asked "What are you going to do with her house?" Without missing a beat they say "Sell it to you." I smiled and said "OK, but I can't afford more than $85,000.00" She looked at him, he just nodded, he was a big kind gentle man of few words. "OK, sold, but don't you think you should see it first?" they smiled and laughed. I told them I would drive by on my lunch, I needed to go as soon as they left. They agreed and said "you have our number."

I drove thru Wendy's and got a salad. I would be able to tell by the neighborhood if it would work or not. I pull up in front. There they are in the doorway smiling and waving. They were so cute. I remember thinking that. They were so excited for me to see the house. I walked in the front door and just started tearing up. I am home! That was all I could think and say to them. They left me a little duck magnet that said "Agnes's Kitchen" on it. They asked me to keep her phone number. I did for years. They drove by several times. I told them they can come in anytime. They never did.

They got a realtor, because it was an estate. Normally the buyer and the seller never sit down together. We did several times. I came and had lunch in the house with them a couple of times before we closed. They were so kind. I kept apologizing for being so happy and they were in such pain. We kept arguing over paying things, we each wanted to pay them not to put a burden on the other one. The realtor would step in and say who legally had to pay it. The inspection went great!! One problem. There was not a vapor barrier under the house. I had put $50 down on the earnest money. It was all I had to spare. I said I would see if I could talk one of my friends into going under the house to do it. I don't do spiders! The realtor was walking an empty warehouse. Looking to list it. He asked the owner "What is that in the corner?" The owner responded "Oh some plastic vapor barrier, I need to get someone to get rid of it for me." He gave it to the realtor for free if he hauled it away. The realtor paid out of his pocket to have it installed under the house. He said he had never had the privilege of working on such a great transaction before. He said he will remember it forever. I saw him years later, and he did!

I stopped into the woman's place of work a year or so later. She had died of cancer. I cried.

Anyway after telling this long beautiful story to the Crazy Dr and whining for the full hour about how I don't want to loose my house, my home, the only safe place I have ever had. She looked at me and smiled, "You said you like it blunt and to the point." "Yes" I replied "I do!"
"Well you have 2 choices........1....Materialistic-go get a job to the detriment to your health and spirituality or ...........2..........Spirituality-go in the door to door work & take care of your health. Get yourself better and grow. Do the correct work or job. OK times up!" (She said it better than I just did, but you get the feel of it) How profound-times up-WOW She is so right. I can't do anything about it. I can't get a job. I am not capable right now. I can barely do what I am doing. I will keep trying but I can only do what I can do. This is so hard for me to admit. I have always been so tough. Just do it. Yah that aint happenin!! I can only chose Spirituality. That is were the real life is anyway!

I went to DQ...at least it wasn't a half gallon!! Went to a RV dealership to see what it would cost to get in a cheap one so I at least have a place to live. Pretty mind numbing to say the least.

I went upstairs and watched Phantom of the Opera and cried all day.

I will write about Friday tomorrow. It was amazing and sooo faith strengthening!!

Kisses