Halfsies?

weight 255 am
I learned something yesterday, well, several things. I had a running inner dialog going for quite some time. I noticed the other day that I am craving red pepper flakes, you know the kind that goes on pizza....ah pizza....doesn't just the sound of the word make you want to have some...OK..once a month I will have pizza! Any way...after work I wanted to eat some of the really spicy chili that I made. It feels good on my lungs. I know...whatever...sooo on the way home I stopped and got some chili spice Fritos. A small bag. I was going to only put half the bag on the plate and then the chili...I put the whole bag on...NO DESIREE DON'T DO IT!!! I didn't listen.. This is a positive inner voice, why aren't I listening or obeying it? I rationalize....I will only eat 1/2 the plate...this way for dinner all I have to do is nuke it. I scrape (and I mean every drop) 1/2 of it in a bowl... I take the bowl and the plate to the dining room. Well the window was open in the kitchen, I didn't want the food just sitting on the counter, in the wind....are you kidding!?! I finish the bowl of chips and chili. Wow this feels good on my head and lungs...hmm I am feeling perfect. Just the right full. Triumph. Now just go put the plate in the fridge...OK ...that one little chip that is sticking out from the rest, all alone, poor thing! Oh another one came with it. OK...BOOM the plate is empty. I feel sick to my stomach, well, because I have been sick....you know that....it's not because I just ate 2 meals worth of food with the fat content to feed a small country.

Today I will listen to that wise voice. That voice also tells me to go for a walk....today....later....FINE I will go now !

Kisses